Death Obsession

Death is a serious subject that humanity has been obsessed with for generations. Its significance is undeniable, but in my opinion, it gets too much attention, especially from African, Middle Eastern, and Asian societies. The death obsession is crippling and keeping us in an infinite loop of birth and death; neglecting the important in-between. There are far too many festivals and events surrounding death.  This is not to say that funerals aren’t essential, but to say that they should play second fiddle to celebrations where the people are alive. People live their lives in service to those who have died and those who have reverence for the dead. This also leaves room for those who control society through the use of death as an instrument of oppression, to have free reign. 

An obsession with death makes a society focused on the past, and not the future. Most resources, emotional and financial, go towards serving the dead. This then translates to holding on to terrible ideas once held by those who have gone before us. Innovation is hard to come by because the dead are perceived to possess greater wisdom than those who are living. The elders, who should receive honor, receive resources that should be used by future generations. Money earned by young people goes towards building the parents’ homestead instead of building their homestead. Western cultures, especially those in the United States, sow for their children to reap the harvest. We, Africans, sow for our parents to reap the harvest. This is why we are also obsessed with making white people feel guilty for the sins of their fathers. What their fathers did was wrong, but we should move on and adopt their future mindset and add ubuntu to our success equation. Our forefathers and fathers were the ones oppressed, not us, we should do all within our power to grow while also preventing history from repeating. We can only get free when we are free in our minds and hearts first. 

We have greater reverence and ceremony surrounding funerals than we have surrounding birthdays. We need to come together while the people we love are still alive, instead of only showing our love when they are gone. Families, once broken, come together for funerals. Children, once estranged, come home when one of the parents dies. We also tend to meet long lost or unknown relatives during funerals, and not birthday celebrations. We have things backwards because we don’t see death as a catalyst to solidify life. Life after death is called eternal life for a reason. It is life that we should cherish and not death. We need to give each other flowers while we are alive, and show appreciation to those who can express their gratitude. Many Africans would say the spiritual is more important than the physical, and yes, this is true, but the physical is more proximal. The physical is where decisions are made. It is where your eternal home is established; the dead cannot decide to follow Christ. 

Instead of having savings or insurance for funeral cover, let us have savings or insurance for current health and future investments. We need more Africans to spend their finances on health insurance and not on life (aka death) insurance. We can avoid more deaths if we spend our energy and resources on life. If we think about growth and infrastructure, we will build a beautiful future for our children and children’s children. Blessings go forward, not backwards, and honor goes both ways. Understanding honor is the key to releasing blessings and not curses. Honor your father and mother for longer days on the earth. Blessings go forward, do not waste your energy trying to bless your past. Bless your future! When you honor your parents and the values of those that came before you, you will reap the benefits. Honor is not about financial resource allocation, it’s about remembering the lessons learned. If our parents sowed for our future, we could sow for our children’s future, and they could follow suit for their children. Poverty comes when we obsess over the past and not the future, when we obsess over death and not life. 

If we can put death in its place, which is a reminder of how precious our time is, we can love more deeply. We can go out into the world sharing the good news of Christ, because we want people to have great futures here on earth, not just after earth. Funerals should only be to show the deceased’s loved ones that we care. The love and support at the funeral should pale in comparison to how much love and support they received when their loved one was alive. We need to love now, and invest for the future. We should remember the past only for us to repeat the good and prevent a repeat of the bad. We should remember those we love for the life they lived, and not for the ancestor we think they have or will become.