Lobola In Twenty First Century Africa

The marriage custom of lobola is still practiced in Eswatini and South Africa. Some may be against it, because of what they think it says about the value of women or the patriarchal nature of African society, but I am not going to give a prescription as to whether or not it should be practiced today. I think that each family needs to figure out what it thinks is beneficial. I firmly believe that the decision to practice lobola lies in the hands of the couple. They need to decide how they merge the past with the future. 

In pre-colonial times, lobola might have made a lot more sense. The economy was built on cattle and families were a lot more close-knit. The father of the groom was actually the one who had to part with the cattle. His son benefited from the trade of the family’s wealth which was in their kraal (bank account). The bride’s family and the groom’s family negotiated the value of the full exchange, but never fully settled there and then. After the negotiations, the groom's family sent cattle to the bride’s family to be used for food at the lobola ceremony, some were sent to the bride’s family’s homestead, and some were even taken by the new couple for them to start a herd of their own. The bride’s family would then have to give gifts to the groom’s family when they had the umtsimba ceremony which legitimized the marriage beyond reasonable doubt. 

Good families embraced the fact that the debt was not fully settled, engaging in the ritual of outgiving each other. The groom’s family would slaughter a cow whenever the bride’s family visited or whenever they hosted a celebration in which the bride’s family was invited. The bride’s family would also slaughter cattle whenever hosting the groom’s family. They would do this until the “debt was settled.” Families that did not embrace the “never ending debt” principle were not the kinds of families that  one would desire to marry into. Families that saw the exchange of cattle for a bride as a fair exchange were usually misogynistic, and only interested in upward mobility. The cattle were an insurance policy for both families. The groom’s family could have the cattle returned if the union was nullified and the bride’s family had more cattle than before. The exchange was a way to create a bond between two families or even a way to lift one family out of poverty. A form of incentives beyond the love between the couple. 

A post-colonial Africa might not afford to hold on to lobola: not in its current form. Due to geopolitical conflicts, infectious disease, and the search for employment in cities or foreign lands, families are no longer able to pass anything down to the next generation. Africa has a broken family epidemic with a high number of orphans, single parent homes, and widows. Fatherless homes are growing at a rapid rate. This means that rituals and customs that rested on close-knit father-led homes are not sustainable in their current form. The economy is no longer a subsistence agricultural one based on cattle as a currency, which means that trading cattle for anything is not like it used to be. It is now a currency exchange and not as simple as an asset valuation. Trading cattle for cash is actually far more expensive today, making the current financial burden placed on the groom and his family overly inflated and irrational. To add insult to injury, the groom has to come up with the cash by himself. He does not have the kind of support system that his pre-colonial counterpart would have possessed. 

All systems need reform, just like laws need amendments. We need to study the intent behind our customs and rituals to know how best to make them compatible with how Africa is today. We need to bring forward customs that encourage the best parts of us to flourish and not ones that actually bring regression. Lobola or whatever we decide to replace it with should bring families together, give couples a head start in building their future, and prevent family structures that are not safe or conducive to childhood development. Men and women are equal and we should find a way to practice customs and rituals that solidify that equality while stimulating unity. We need to move forward together in a way that unites and moves us forward while also preserving honor and respect for our history.  

Disclaimer: this is my understanding of lobola. Please give clarifications and/or corrections in the comments.