Who's In Your Orbit

Relationships are at the core of our civilization! We cannot build anything without relationships. Whether for business or pleasure, we always need to cultivate relationships in order to achieve intended goals. Those with tumultuous lives, more often than not, have tumultuous relationships. They do not possess the ability to manage expectations within appropriate frameworks; they do not have proper boundaries! Eastern cultures struggle with boundaries, because the demands made by family, friends, and strangers on an individual are not made within mutually beneficial relationship ecosystems. Plus, eastern cultures form relationships around social activities centered on consumption, instead of activities centered on production. How we manage our relationships can be one of the main ways that we can best manage our time: our most important resource. 

One of the best ways to think about relationships is to use visual devices. One such device is to think of relationships, and the boundaries that foster them, as a solar system. You are the sun and the other people are the planets. The ones that should matter most should be thought of as planets orbiting closest to you. Your God or spiritual life should be thought of as the nuclear energy that powers you. God is inside you, at your core. The planets rearrange depending on the setting and stages of life. If you can think of relationships as a solar system, you can increase the mutual benefit that can be experienced in relationships, and play your part in the socio-economic progress of society. 

Before I was married, my solar system looked different from how it is now. My parents were Mercury, my siblings were Venus, my extended family were Earth, and my friends were Mars. We have to work hard to love both parents equally - even though personality and gender can mean that you are closer to one than the other - because both add value to you, their child. The planets that orbit your sun exert different gravitational pulls depending on how close they are to you. The gravitational pull can be thought of as the amount of attention given to people. The ones closest to you should receive more of your time and support, and we cannot give more attention to people that orbit at a distance. 

When I got married, my relationship solar system changed. The planets rearranged and new orbits resulted as a consequence. Now, my wife is Mercury, our children Venus, both sets of parents (my parents and her parents) are Earth, both sets of siblings are Mars, both sets of extended family are Jupiter, and our friends are Saturn. My wife is the closest planet to me, so I should think of her as having the strongest gravitational pull. She orbits my sun closer than any other! This makes life easier, because there is never a question on who is in my orbit. I respond to people and their demands in accordance to how far they orbit my sun. The further away they are, the less likely I am going to pay attention to what they say. We all need to examine our relationships, because they are the backbone on which all our endeavors are built. Let us reduce the drama by having the right people in your orbit. Let us increase the probability that the future will be bright by having healthy boundaries.