Baby Momma Drama

In the quest for pleasure and happiness, often we find pain and suffering, with one of the ways being through what popular culture has termed the baby momma. Having a baby momma, or baby daddy, is a sure fire way to guarantee strife, especially if your baby does not live with you. We need to recognize root causes of pain and suffering in order to avoid the symptoms. Unfortunately, we find ourselves in a whirlwind of drama, because we tend not to understand that pleasure is meant to be shared with those that you have already committed to, and those that have earned your trust and you theirs. 


Growing up, we learned about sex before marriage and sadly, the main point that the Sunday school teachers and preachers emphasized is that it is sin. Although that is true, it does not motivate us to stay away from having sex before marriage. It does not provide adequate incentives. We would have been better off hearing about some of the horror stories from couples (and their children) who had children out of wedlock. Most of the dysfunction in non-polygamous homes comes through baby momma drama. 


In conversation, when we peel off the layers, we also find that most of the financial burden that working men experience comes from not living with their children. They part with more money than they need to, because they are not in partnership with the mother of their children. They fund the lifestyles of the baby momma, her family, and her friends. In some cases, the child, for which the money is meant for, does not get all that he or she needs. Due to poor boundaries, the baby momma asks for more money, leaving the man in a bind, because a decent man does not let his child go without essentials. The baby momma can hold the child for ransom, using the child to get all that she desires, or in some cases, what her family desires. 


The baby momma can be a thorn in the flesh in the married couple’s relationship. The man, even when reformed after his dalliance, can find himself paying the price for his mistake for a very long time. The married couple and their children will have to navigate the terrain of the baby momma and her child. There is always a third person in their two-person relationship and an extra child or children in their parenting. The baby momma can also pay the price if the wife is a tyrant. She can find her child being mistreated or neglected. She also needs to navigate future relationships with her baby daddy and his child or children in mind. The new man, who gets into a relationship or marries the baby momma, now has more on his plate too. 


Having sex before marriage has many drawbacks and I wish we could learn from those that have children out of wedlock. We need to obey God when it comes to sex before marriage, because it produces so many of the societal problems we have. It is at the root of most of the economic issues we face on this (African) continent. If we had sex only within marriage, we would have children that mainly have to contend with their parents and each other. Relationships are difficult enough without an extra person in the mix. We, as men, should do our best to avoid having baby mommas and women should do their best to avoid having baby daddies. The same problems that a man has with a baby momma, a woman can have with a baby daddy. 


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